This post is going to be weird. Deal. But I just recently read an article about blogging…you know, because I’m a newly avid member of the ‘blogosphere’ and all, and it’s my duty to keep up with blog trends…Well, it told me that I should be writing my feelings and releasing my ever-so-intellectual opinion to the world. So here goes: my opinion on today’s holiday, Valentine’s Day.
To say I loathe the holiday would be entirely false. Now, I don’t love it…but I don’t hate it. It’s probably fair to blame my slight aversion on the fact that I haven’t celebrated the holiday with someone since the 5th grade. My ‘boyfriend’ gave me a bottle of Sprecher Root Beer and a Disney’s “Arisotcats” Valentine that said “You are Purrrfect!” How romantic. Unfortunately for him, we had to break up because another boy gave me a 12-pack of Gelly Roll pens. My life used to be very complex.
However, put quite simply: I dislike the day because I hate PDA more than anything in the world. Just because it’s Valentine’s Day does not make these treacherous acts acceptable. I’m not sure who signed the bill permitting all couples to excessively suck face in public places, but whoever you are: you had a severe lapse in judgment and should be punished.
Note: Contrary to popular belief, I do not dislike the day because I do not have a boyfriend. Believe me, self-absorption and diva attitudes prevent this. Try it out.
In spite of this, I also dislike the people who inordinately resent the day. Although I do not partake in the celebration, I do not obsess over the dreadful aspects of the holiday. For example: spending it alone (gasp!). àTelling the world you are spending the day over-indulging in sweets and trashy soap operas (do people ACTUALLY do that? Or are you being over-dramatic?) is always TMI and never worth our time. Excessive “Cheers to being Single!” are lame and usually superficial. I see right through you. We know you don't reeeaaalllllyyy want to be single. Putting so much effort into hating the day probably emphasizes your depression, and just reminds you even further that you have no one to text your banal thoughts and worthless smiley faces to. Let the day come and go; you will damage your swag if you don’t.
Regardless, I find February 14th to be one of the most interesting days of the year. Due to my internet addiction I find that refreshing my facebook and twitter accounts on this day has never been more fascinating. I have never seen more exclamation points and hearts in my e.n.t.i.r.e. life. And this is why I love the holiday. The ridiculousness of the human race really came through today. 1 point for you guys!
Some of my favorite updates thus far have been:
1. Happy Valentine’s Day to my boyfriend!!!!! I LOVE YOU <3 <3!!!–via facebook stalking I have come to the conclusion that this couple has been together for 3 whole days. #toosoon? #gobacktomiddleschool.
2. LuV mA baBy-daddy Jerrae!! HappEe V-dAy <3 <3 Can’T wAiT foR mY CaRd oF money and SpArK-LEE JeWelS!!!!!! LoL!!! –From an outsider’s perspective, there are no words. Except: I am just happy that these teen parents are apparently together!
3. Playing drinking games to The Bachelor tonight, my ideal Valentines Day!!—I like this person.
4. Boycotting Valentine’s Day with my girls!!!!! Sushi, chocolate and wine!!!! A perfect way to spend the night!!!—total sorority move. Can’t say I haven’t.
5. Stuffing my face with pizza and chocolate this valentine’s day. Go me.—number 1: gross, number 2: gross.
Although I realize I’ve been known to over share and post useless status updates, for the well being of the world and my own sanity, I feel the need to reiterate these epic/life-changing messages
Keep them coming world! I think my love-hate relationship with the holiday is perfect. I couldn’t have possibly wished for anything else this Valentine’s Day. Except maybe Yurman earrings….
But I know that I cannot change the world with one blog post, and to be honest: life is more fun this way. So, continue on doing…whatever you’re doing. To those of you looking forward to your Tornado Room dinner, bouquet of roses and Tiffany’s bracelet—enjoy it. To those of you stuffing Topper’s stix into your overindulgent jaws, I’m thoroughly disgusted, but Cheers to Being Single!! (especially for my Sushi-Girls!) And to those of you who are indifferent: tomorrow is February 15th. Live it up.
Of course, my siblings will hate me after reading this, because all 3 of them probably have plans with their significant others frolicking through flowerbeds or feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries with their toes. Ew, why did I say that? But yes, you did the math correctly…I am the only Warner child without a Valentine today. This reinforces my Warner family outsider qualities and potentially institutes a permanent ‘cat lady’ nickname. I will dutifully accept.
One more thing: there is nothing wrong with sending yourself a bouquet of red roses on Valentine’s Day,
Mals
PS Happy Valentine’s Day!
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