The LIST.

I watch too much LOST...

Here is my list of the 10 things I already miss about home…

1. Walgreen's—there really is no such thing as convenience here.

I never realized how much I take advantage of convenience stores at home. Of course there are pharmacies, foodstores, beauty stores, appliance stores etc. etc. but…

1. They all close at like 5. Puhleaze… tell me what I’m supposed to do at 9pm when I need my reese’s fix.

2. I want to buy my lotion at the same store I buy my toothpaste, is that too much to ask?

3.There are really no choices in these kinds of stores unless you want to splurge and spend $50 on face lotionà one kind of cheap shampoo, one kind of cheap lotion, one kind of cheap mascara. Being a girl has never been so hard!

2. Free Water.

We’ll just get this out of the way: Jumbo glasses are so American. AND I’M ABSOLUTELY OKAY WITH IT. Glasses here fit like 10 tablespoons of water. Sometimes I would really appreciate more than 5 sips of water

….actually, sometimes I would really appreciate 5 sips of FREE water. Most restaurants don’t serve tap water, so you have to buy a 3-4 euro bottle of water, that runs out in like 4 minutes. By the time the bill comes you have had 10 bottles of water and now owe the restaurant 1,000 euro just to stay hydrated. Kill me for trying to get my daily requirement of H2O.

And what the f-bomb is this FRIZZANTE water stuff?

3. Chester's....you know who you are if you know what Chester's is.

On the same food tangent, if you know me at all you know I miss buffalo wings, Qdoba, cheesecurds (duh), summer sausage, Dad’s fajitas, salmon and Mom’s chocolate chip cookies. (I’m attempted to make chocolate chip cookies soon, but my Gringo-self failed to find sugar at the grocery store. They must sell it at the pharmacy…)

4. Salad as an entree--My new Italian diet has consisted of: pasta, pizza, gelato, focaccia, fried bread, pasta, bread, cheese in ridiculous quantities, kebaP (kebabs) taralli, gelato…. Etc. etc. etc.

While I’m sure all you fatties are all jealous of my daily cuisine, I'm already feeling those Italian carbs stick to my hips and I’m in major need of boosting my metabolism and blasting my fat. (Jillian Michaels reference…gphi girls, Whoever has my Jillian DVD mail it to me! Obesity could be an issue.) Don’t worry Mom, I’m joining a gym next week.

5. Tall boys. that don't wear skin tight (white) jeans. And Dolce and Gabana—enough said.

6. 3G and a full keyboard on a phone—my cell phone, born circa 1995, makes texts that look like this:

youOnt beLIevee whausr happE nd. w her e R u. wE n eeeed tO t aLk.

For those unable to decode, I believe I meant to say:

You won’t believe what just happened. Where are you? We need to talk.

(This was a message I actually sent—inevitably an Italian emergency. )

Anyway, I’m in the process of learning to Jailbreak my iPhone so I can use it here, but my technologically challenged brain and snail-like internet connection are seriously ruining this possibility. I mean, I could buy a new iPhone here if I wanted to spend the 600 euro…like EVERY single other person in Europe whose iPhone is glued to the hands. Or I could buy the new 500 euro PRADA phone that apparently every Italian wants. Too bad it looks like one of those plastic phones that dispenses PEZ...I say keep making bags Prada, I don't think your cell phones are any good.

7. Cheap Beer like Keystone Light....just kidding. But not really.

Even though Italy isn't necessarily known for its great beer, we've indulged in a few types of beer. Moretti and Peroni are probably the 2 most popular Italian beers. You can get them at home, but they taste way better here. We’ve also had our fair share of Beck’s, Guinness, Harp and a few others.

Obviously, I miss Miller Lite to, but I would trade any Miller goodness for the best social grant ever: Drinking on the streets. No such thing as an open container law… so now that I sound like a drunk, let me explain myself. Students, who can’t afford 8euro beers at the bar, can get a few at the grocery store for cheap and enjoy them while walking around. It’s not uncommon to see people walking down the street while daintily sipping or (chugging) bottles of delicious beer at any hour of the day (but usually the people that are doing it before noon are homeless men dragging around their mangy dogs)—something that I definitely can get used to (granted I turn 21 someday….screw that law too.)

BUT yes, I will miss playing beer pong and flip cup with cheap beer. These games don’t exist here…although, I am determined to teach them my expertise.

8. Buying pens in bulk. (In fact, buying anything in bulk.)

Dear all American College students,

Take advantage of being able to buy a 24 pack of pens for 3 dollars. Here the average (crap) pen costs about 2.50 Euro which is around 3-4 dollars. Its bizarre but you can’t buy pens in packs…you only buy them individually. Notebooks cost 6 Euro (around 9 dollars). So I now have 3 pens (one blue, black and red), and 1 notebook. (I couldn’t afford a pencil.)

Don’t you dare ask to borrow my pens.

There is no such thing as Costco, Target or Wal-mart (where am I supposed to get my gallon sized hummus I occasionally manage to finish in a week!!) The closest thing Italy has to these wonderful stores is IKEA, which is pretty much a death sentence if you decide to go. I’ve managed to go twice and just barely made it out alive both times. (But that story will come at a later date…let’s just leave it at this: organization isn’t quite a priority for Italians.)

9. Ice.

I’m already sick of drinking warm water, warm soda and semi-warm cocktails. If you order a cocktail at the bar you get like 3 ice cubes, ¾ alcohol and ¼ mixer. Now I’m not complaining about the amount of alcohol they put in my drink, but sometimes it’s hard to choke down room temperature gin with only a splash of tonic…It’s time I become their John Smith of our time, and teach them a few more western civilization tricks: aka Frozen Water. Once they have an icy cold drink, they will never go back.

Other things I’ve managed to discover: fridges don’t have ice makers, fridges are kept warmer here (aka my yogurt is never cold) and the fridges are way smaller...like midget size.

Now, I will start paying attention to school rather than measuring the temperature of my yogurt and the dimensions of my refrigerator…maybe.

10. English.

I just want to express myself EASILY. I want Italians to understand what I mean when I add the suffix "ish" to a word....But yes, I understand...that will come with the acquisition of the language, however…

What I’ve discovered, while learning Italian, is that the ancient language does not have nearly as many words as the English language does, or they are not used as often. English speakers are spoiled in the sense that we have a word, variation of a word or at least fundamental words that can be strung together in a sentence to describe every emotion, every place, every sense that a human experiences—and usually, without a doubt, others understand the meaning. Yes, obviously you are able to communicate in the Italian language, don’t get me wrong, but there are definitely fewer methods of description.

For example:

-I have to get the bus at 12.

-I have to take the bus at 12.

-I have to grab the bus at 12.

-I have to jump on the bus at 12.

-I have to hop on the bus at 12.

Then obviously the “I have” part can be substituted with “I’ve got” or “I gotta”, but that’s beside the point.

Sorry for the bad example…but what’s cool about English is that you can say any one of those examples (and probably more) and somebody completely understands what you’re saying. In Italian there really is only one way to say it, or people will think you are literally going to JUMP on the bus. Again, bad example but hopefully you catch my drift.

This has made me come to realize that English speakers more commonly express individuality and personality through their words. (When I was apartment searching literally everyone that showed me their apartment described the area in which they lived in as “una zona tranquilla”—or a safe and quiet area. In English I doubt EVERY person would describe it in that way.) Anyway, when I am able to come up with more examples for this STROKE OF BRILLIANCE I’ll be able to explain my findings better. But for now…

Say these outloud---I promise it’s fun.

Mallory Warnerà Mah-low-ree Vahr-nehr

An online forumà Un four-oom oun-liine-uh

Beauty Caseà be-oo-tee kay-sah

Scannerà lo-SkahNN-Nair-uh

(These are English words understood and used in the Italian language…minus my name…and their Italian “pronunciations”)

Well this finishes the list of things I miss!

I’ll cheesily end it withà

Of course the things I miss the most are all my family and friends!

Lots of Italian Kisses,

Mals

dear world of blogging.

I'm truly sorry for my 3 week hiatus from "spaghetti rehab." but my parents aren't paying me enough to write it. Once I weasel my way into their pockets or checking accounts i'll continue on with updating.

just kidding, I live a life just too important and incomprehensible to document for all you fools that aren't in Italy.

just kidding, my life is so busy and filled with European chic things, I don't the have time to write.

just kidding, i'm lazy.

I'll get on it soon! Not to worry, before long your dreams will come true and you will be able to live vicariously through me!

The Not-So-Successful Arrival.

Picture me sandwiched between a sweaty, hormonal pregnant woman and two German teenagers that, I believe, thought eachother's saliva was their oxygen. Yeah. Not so fun. It was cramped, hot, motion sick and restless to say the least. But I guess it's all in the experience...right?

I get off the plane only to realize one of my two 50.0 pound bags was left in Copenhagen. From experience, it usually takes Italians about 3-4 days to deliver the bags. The guy at the counter was super unhelpful and I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach I would never see that bag again. But he assured me they would come that following day. What I was most frustrated with was the fact that I split up my clothes between the bag. My shirts were in the bag I had with me, but my pants, dresses and SHOES were in the lost bag....what a dilemma! I didn't know if I was going to survive. (I did.)

Anyway, trying to ignore the fact that my shoe collection was lost in Scandinavia, I got a cab and made my way to Via Bertiera 13, where Hotel Holiday is (This is where all students in my program will stay until we find our apartments). I made it safely, paid the cab driver the 16 Euro it cost and walked into the quaint hotel and settled in. Exhausted, I laid on my bed--just for a second--and woke up 4 hours later to my roommate banging on the door. Oops. That was not supposed to happen. My roommate for the time at Hotel Holiday is Maried. She goes to Madison with me, in fact, we've had 3 Italian classes together. However, we probably had only spoke three or four times before Bologna. She's awesome, and into a lot of things that I love (aka Harry Potter and Perez Hilton).

Tired and weary, Maried and a few other girls from the program dragged me to a cute restaurant called Osteria Dell'Orsa. Apparently it's very popular for students because of it's cheap prices. I got a pasta dish called Pasta Torchio con basilico e pomodoro. Basically: pasta with tomatoes and basil. We got a half liter of house wine (because we can...) for the table as well. I paid 6 Euro for a stuffing meal. Awesome...definitely a place that I will go more.

While my first few minutes in Italy were stressful, the next few hours were amazing and gave me a small taste of the year I have ahead of me!